Ang Walis
Our early October 2021 blog post comes from Mosaic Project creator, Theresa Ronquillo. This narrative poem weaves together a Halloween memory, anti-Asian racism, and liberation.
Walis tambo, traditional Filipino brooms
Yesterday I bought a walis from an Asian grocery and supply store.
Not an “authentic” one made in the motherland
But nonetheless a broom that I can sweep the floor with
Using one hand.
I had read somewhere that during this time of Covid-19
We are encouraged to go to the smaller ethnic grocery stores
Instead of the big box supermarkets.
It did cross my mind
That people might avoid Asian stores
Because of their racism.
That we might be left alone while we shopped, walked, lived.
(Update: I was wrong. They don’t avoid, they attack.)
When I swept the floor this morning with my new walis
A childhood memory popped in my head
Of dressing up as a witch for Halloween when I was in second grade
Black hat
Black cape
Black Izod shirt, black pants and shoes
Black lipstick
And a walis
The only kind of broom we had at home,
The only broom I was familiar with
And because white suburban kids
Were total assholes
They laughed at me and my walis and made fun of me
“What’s that?”
“That’s a broom?!”
“What kind of broom is that?!”
“You and your family are so weird!”
(I made that last statement up. Maybe.)
I was ashamed
I was mad at my parents for sending me to school
With a Filipino broom
I just wanted to fit in.
I just wanted to be a normal witch.
I just wanted a normal broom.
When I thought about that Halloween memory
The phrase “they avoided me like the plague”
Also popped in my head.
The childhood reality
Of internalized anti-Asianess.
But because writing is healing,
And growing up happens,
And learning to love myself happens,
I re-framed.
Back in second grade,
I might not have had the language to articulate my feelings of shame
Or the power, or the agency, or the thick skin.
But I do now.
I am a powerful witch. Sweep.
A bruha. Sweep.
Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.
I have the power to transform.
Shapeshift
Fly
Are you afraid of me?
I am no longer afraid of you.